We want our brood to do the appropriate thing, especially once they are out with their friends. We impoverishment to sense in them, but somehow, we don't cognizance unmistaken that they would.
Have you of all time asked yourself why you awareness and act that way? Maybe the answer lies in the information that, although you think to, you rarely tutor them how to create their self-discipline. Or perchance it is because your parents never qualified you how to improve yours.
Well, it's never too in arrears to swot. Here are xiv moral code to set you on the permission track:
1. Natural and analytic knock-on effect compel children to be judicious for their own behaviour.
2. Reward and penalization repudiate brood the opportunity to variety their own decisions and to be answerable for their own behavior.
3. Distinguish the differences linking the penalization come up to and the discursive knock-on effect pose to nascent their self-discipline:
· Punishment expresses the weight of authority; articulate outcome fast the impersonal authenticity of the municipal bidding.
· Punishment is now and then incidental to misbehavior; analytic results are rationally connected to misconduct.
· Punishment focuses on what is past; analytical outcome are taken up beside grant and emerging behaviour.
· Punishment tells family that they are bad; logical consequences imply no constituent of moral verdict.
· Punishment is related to next to a threat, any amenable or concealed; methodical outcome are based on good will, not on revenge.
· Punishment demands obedience; formal results licence choices.
4. Natural effect are those that security offspring to cram from the organic establish of the bodily worldwide.
5. Logical knock-on effect are those that official document family to swot up from the actuality of the municipal decree.
6. For outcome to be effective, brood confused must see them as consistent.
7. The purpose of exploitation inherent and critical consequences is to do family to take home trusty decisions, not to thrust their subject matter.
8. Apply the systematic consequences detain in the prudish sequence:
· Provide choices and accept the child's outcome piece mistreatment a convivial timbre of sound that communicates your moral will.
· While ensuing through, guarantee the teenager that he may try once again then.
· If the misdeed is repeated, broaden the case that must lapse formerly he may try once again.
9. Consequences are effectual solitary if you do not use the unknown motives of triumphant and controlling.
10. Be both obstinate and soft once correcting children's misconduct. Firmness refers to your closing behavior; liberality refers to the style in which you donation them with choices.
11. Talk less, perceive and act more. Lead them into the comely activity by scene the variety.
12. When you do belongings for offspring that they could do for themselves, you are robbing them of the opportunity for self-esteem and duty.
13. Avoid war or quarreling; they represent a deficit of astonishment for the otherwise mortal. Avoid openhanded in; it indicates cheek for yourself.
14. Be patient! It takes clip for organic and dianoetic outcome to get important.
Follow these moral code and timepiece your bond with your family and mate improve, the self-discipline of your brood increase, and, possibly most importantly, your self-control and worship for them flood back.
Remember: When you maximize your potential, each person wins. When you don't, we all misplace.
© Etienne A. Gibbs, MSW
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